The first year of my 30’s – What have I learnt?

So this week I turned 31… (excuse me as I just go sick a little) How on earth did that happen? It’s like I went to sleep on the night of my 30th and woke up a year later, wondering how on earth I got here!

I was absolutely fine about turning 30 (borderline excited even) but I have to admit, the thought of actually saying *cough* 31 out loud makes my stomach sink a little.

That being said, I did have a very lovely birthday which I spent with friends, filling our faces with afternoon tea at St Davids Hotel, followed by a nice relaxing massage and spa in the evening with Leight – I couldn’t have asked for anything better!

The last twelve months have flown by so fast! It’s scary! It’s been full of ups and downs and lots of changes too! We are currently in the process of buying a house, changes are taking place at work and I feel like I have learnt so much about myself in the process. Here’s just a few…

• Grey hair is inevitable – This year my hair has taken grey to another level… I’m currently dying my roots every two weeks! Eeeek! While grey hair is very much in fashion at the moment, I don’t think I’m quite hip enough to pull it off. I might consider letting it go wild when I reach 40 (because the way things are going I should be pretty much 100% grey by that point) but until then I will be racking up regular hairdressers bills to hide those little blighters. But hey, more grey hair = more wisdom right?
• I am more capable than I think  – Work has been a real rollercoaster ride this year, starting with the disappointment of not getting a promotion, which was a pretty difficult time. There have also been a few changes in the team and I’ve had to adapt to new ways of working. Working alongside new people has given me a different perspective on things and has helped me realise my own strenghths and capabilities. I also completed a leadership and management course earlier this year, which really helped build my confidence and made me realise that I am actually pretty god damn good at what I do! I’m looking forward to continue being an absolute boss at my job but also pushing myself to achieve even more! No more self doubt!
• I am still young – So when you reach 30 you pretty much consider yourself to be a ‘proper’ fully grown and functioning adult right? Well, I’ve come to learn that, actually, in the grand scheme of life the ripe old age of 31 is still so young. (Yipee?!?) The whole process of buying a house has been a real eye opener for us as we’ve literally had no clue what we’ve been doing, making us feel like children again by having to call on our parents for help and advice. Even though I’ve gained a good level of wisdom in my 31 years I still have so much to learn and experience and you know what? I’m bloody looking forward to it!
• I should say what I feel – One thing I’ve learnt more recently, is how important it is to be honest, not only with myself, but other people too. Now, I’m not saying you should tell your partner that ‘yes, actually that shirt does make you look like you have moobs’ or confess to an overly chatty colleague that when you asked them about their weekend you were merely being polite and didn’t care to hear a minute by minute account of their entire weekend, but….. being open and honest about how you feel, and how others have made you feel really does make a difference in reducing stress and frustration. I often make the mistake of assuming that other people can read my mind when something is bothering me and I know there have been plenty of times when I’ve taken other peoples actions totally the wrong way too. Miscommunication can be so damaging to any kind of relationship and I am really starting to see how opening up that little bit more and laying it on the table can really make a difference. It’s not always easy, and sometimes awkward or difficult conversations need to be had but letting people know where they stand, speaking up for yourself and making your intentions known really does make life that little bit easier.
• Exercise is a must – Gone are the days of eating whatever I want and being able to get away with doing minimal exercise to burn it off! Wahhhh! These days, just the thought of cake is enough to send the scales spinning.
• True friends are priceless – Through my 20’s I had lots of different groups of friends/acquaintances. Naturally, as you grow up and move on some friendships fizzle out and others become harder to maintain when life is so busy. With such a busy (and often stressful) schedule I have started to realise the importance of spending time with good friends – even just a few hours of catching up over food makes me feel 100x better when I’ve had a hard day. It’s so important to nurture those relationships even if you cant see people as regularly as you’d like. It’s also equally as important to cut ties with any relationships that really don’t enrich your life in any way. Life too short to waste energy investing in people that give nothing back.
• It’s fine to be selfish sometimes – I’ve always been a little bit of a people pleaser. Never wanting to rock the boat too much and always careful not to let pepole down, which means I often find myself in places or situations that I’d rather not be in. I’ve been to enough parties to I’d rather not have attended or said yes to helping a friend, even though I know it will be a massive inconvenience for me. However, I’ve finally learnt that sometimes it’s OK to say NO, if I’m not feeling it – I’m not doing it!
• I’m a pretty great person –  The older I get the more I realise that, actually, I really do like the person I am! And if other people don’t like it? Then it’s no skin off my nose! I am happy with being me and I intend to spend the rest of my 30’s letting my true self shine at all times!

They say your 30’s are the best years and so far it’s not been too bad. I’m sure there will be challenges ahead but there will also be lots of exciting big life events too, so I look forward to the next 9 years and learning even more about myself!